Monday, November 11, 2013

Plagued by perfection

More often than not, when I take on a project, I treat it as a do-or-die situation. Every so often, I am reminded that work/life balance is as important as personal hygiene; I do that daily - so why do I find it difficult to adopt or abandon a habit that may help balance my own life?
After many years of self-discovery, wisdom and experience has encouraged my confidence and ability to adapt to situations and projects that have been presented to me. However, it continues to blow my mind that I can't adopt a simple habit such as incorporating physical activity in my daily routine. It seems so painful to fit it in, I do, but not without retribution. It seems so easy to everyone else.

I'm a perfectionist by nature, and I have approached it as If you can't do something right, don't do it at all. It is likely the reason I have never taken-up ice skating; I have very little experience with it, so I don't bother if it can't be done right. I've recently come to the realization that I have treated exercise and diet as a full time job, part time at best. I've also realized that I perhaps am using the wrong approach.
We live in a world where information is at our fingertips, and we are often inundated with guilt that if we don't comply with society's view of the perfect image of who we are supposed to be or represent, then we may be shunned.

We are so often plagued by the need, and the desire, for perfection. As a woman, correction - as a single mother - the pressure to be on top of all activities, from home to job performance is priority over everything else that is important to us. We are taught to love our children first before loving ourselves. I believe that this is the reason why most mothers lose sight of themselves; single mothers are more so inclined to have an under-developed sense of self because we have some big shoes to fill in the home.
If there's not the pressure of society to be perfect, the pressure is within ourselves; because at one point or another in life, we have made mistakes and momentarily gave up. The thrill overcame us and time and time again we continued to give up because it was easy. We'll eventually find conventional behavior, clean up our act, and do the right thing, for ourselves - not for anyone else.

Take a step back, reassess, and adjust your situation - something I have been reminded to do more so lately than ever before. Like the hobbies that once provided me with so much comfort are now under-prioritized; but is it for good reason? We often fail to remember that without us, our children would not be well; without us, our partners and families may suffer; and without us, we ourselves will suffer. The pressure to be top form is grand, and it will only get stricter.
I have given up on perfection, not because I don't feel the need to do the right thing; on the contrary, I will live up to my own standards of perfection rather than be guilty of not living up to everyone else's standards. Sometimes I cry and get angry, other times I am happy and composed - but they are my emotions to be had, and I am proud of my passion. I will never be able to achieve everything in one day, nor will I have the desire to. Dishes will go undone, laundry unfolded, and workouts not had; but my promise to myself is to never feel guilty about not doing something that "should" be done.

1 comment:

  1. I don't know why we feel the need to be guilty for simply being us. The idea of perfection is an illusion. As an author once wrote (the name escapes me)...we have to stop "should-ing" on ourselves. :)