50 Shades Reviewed

I suppose it was a little presumptuous of me to buy this three book series, but the word-of-mouth reviews were that 50 Shades of Grey was inexplicably arousing. As a single woman, one who goes to bed alone every night, I was intrigued. Perhaps it could be something to look forward every evening - not that sleeping alone is terrible, I do enjoy the occasional star-fishing of my Queen Sized bed.

Typically, I will search for reviews of the book before making a purchase. My naivety of this novel tells me that I was meant to read the first novel just to learn that lesson. If I had read this review, I may have saved some money for a series a little more intellectually stimulating.

I suppose I should be happy that I read this first novel when I was already knee deep into my adulthood, with enough experience to  know that this storyline was not even close to being realistic. Let's take, for instance, the time she lost her virginity - she achieved orgasm. This is nearly impossible, in fact, only 30% of women can achieve orgasm the first time she has intercourse with a man. I also failed to mention that Ana, at age 21, never once masturbated.

The first sexual encounter is NOT that of pure bliss, women are typically nervous and tense because she is inexperienced. If you can get through it without crying from the pain, then I'd say it was a success. Orgasm, especially never having experienced it before, may be the last thing you are trying to achieve.

The characters and the story itself were infuriating. Christian Grey was controlling, egotistical, and arrogant. Anastasia was naïve, insecure, and inexperienced. Two completely different personalities, insecurity is the feeding ground for a control freak like Grey.

The writing style was not what kept me reading, the sex scenes - though unrealistic - made going to bed alone a little more inviting. Most of the time, I had to shut the book out of anger and frustration because I certainly did not want to go to bed angry.

Half-way through the second novel and I think I am done with this series. The whole story, the scenes, and the relationship between the two main characters is frustrating. Honestly if Ana was my friend, I would not have allowed her to continue on that road of destruction; AND, I certainly would not have lasted past the first date.

On that note, I am selling the series, $3 per book, heck FREE if you want to get them out of my house.

I do not recommend this series, the writing is poor, the characters are predictable, and the plot should be non-existent - however there is one, but not one that I would like to discuss.... it NEVER happens in life.